Quantum of Solace, Paxman, Recession, Tax & Chinese Weather

PARSLEY'S COMMLOCK

Film News : Quantum of Solace is new Bond title
I gather this title is from a short story by Ian Fleming in which James Bond appears. It's about as un-Bond a title as I can imagine. In fact I think it would be more suited to a prog rock band, like The Alan Parsons Project. If they really wanted some proper spy film titles they should draw on those provided by Jason King (as wonderfully portrayed by iconic Cult TV performer Peter Wyngarde) for his fictional character Mark Cain. 'Index Finger Left Hand' for example.

Celebrity News : Paxman criticises Marks & Spencer underwear
Thank God Paxman is out there. It is simply not enough to have some 'Grumpy Old Man' telly show, where old men can wail about the things they think are crap. Moaning may be cathartic, but it's not nearly as appropriate as action. The head of Marks & Spencer has been duly set up to meet the Pax, and hopefully he will get a good grilling, like Michael Howard being asked the same question 23 times.

Is M&S underwear reduced in quality? Hard to say for sure, but it seems likely. Tescos have set a retail agenda of 'cheap is everything'. Quality is of use, but if you can't cut your prices quick enough you won't be in business, because the mass market will have moved on. Firms don't expect you to want things fixed. It's cheaper for China to make you a new one. John Lewis have 'bucked the trend' with a good 'after sales' record, and M&S have kept a place in our hearts for quality food, but mostly we've said the main thing is to get it cheap.

Whilst we Brits love a bargain, we are destroying the tradition of single consumers sending their 'could you make this a teensy bit better?' ideas to anyone, because unless the firm make it their ethos, they just won't be listening. Talking to us is expensive. They just want us to sign our direct debit, so they can keep taking the money, whatever the product or service is like. That's why they give you a discount for it. Virgin Media (formerly NTL) even say that you shouldn't sign up with them if you've heard bad things about them. This is because dealing with you is probably going to be more expensive than dealing with most punters so there's less profit from you. This is terrible retail behaviour, and the internet abounds with it.

Actually internet communications could also make it cheaper to serve us well instead of serving us badly. Just like call centres where First Direct showed people that phone banking didn't have to be bad. However, the danger with a good established brand is that someone will spot that they can increase their profit by suddenly dropping their costs by dropping their quality. QED M&S pants, allegedly.

Incidentally, Paxman is apparently good mates with John Mortimer QC, creator of 'Rumpole of the Bailey'. I'm happy to think that his arguments with politicians, and his incisive logic are being briefed by such an expert 'liberal' (small 'l') thinker.

Economics watch : behavioural psychology and recession
I heard someone on the radio say that share dealers weren't likely to stop trading inappropriately because they were conditioned to 'sell, sell, sell' or 'buy, buy, buy'. He compared them with men in a state of arousal who are less likely to be concerned with safe sex, even though it is something they should logically be aware of at such a time.

I tried to avoid the stereotyping in my mind of share dealers as drunken men in search of sexual gratification no matter what the cost. Instead I turned to the preoccupation of businesses with 'outsourcing'. This is where they see all their costs and think it might be cheaper if someone else ran the canteen, the security, the building management etc. etc. Soon they are putting themselves at great risk, whilst telling themselves that they've adopted good business practice.

I think the next time I get the opportunity to criticise outsourcing I'll compare it to take away food. People eating take away food are outsourcing cookery and washing up. If they rely on it they won't know what's in their food and they won't know if it's fresh, and quite possibly they'll end up obese or with food poisoning. Not inevitable, but a higher risk strategy.

News Review : Tax computer crashes, China suffering from extreme weather
You couldn't make it up: the deadline for submitting tax returns has been extended after failures in the online system. The system that is proclaimed as safe & secure (ha!) went down, forcing the revenue to put back the submission deadline. Let me break the news to you: online entry of data isn't secure, even if they could keep their systems up and not lose your personal data.

Meanwhile China is liable to food shortage because of extreme cold weather. Do you suppose they'll take it as the slightest clue that there is anything dodgy going on in the environment & maybe they should think carefully about their rapid industrialisation?

parsley@gardenrecords.com [www.gardenrecords.com]